About every Wednesday night I gather my runaround crew and we head out to Margarita night.
Tonight especially felt special to me since I am leaving for Florida on 6. 2. 2017 and we had about 12-14 people show up at our table. I secretly can’t wait to get away from everyone and just clear my head. I know I keep mentioning this but to hell with redundancy. I am ready to get hell out of dodge for a while.
It was only special to me because I will be out of town, out of sight, out of mind Oxford comma out of reach for a while. I am so glad I am able to escape this city for a while.
Luke showed up tonight and I was hoping that he would pay some attention to me. At one point during the night, I caught him looking at me and we exchanged facial greetings and agreed to talk after everyone had left.
The crowd was filled with laughter, alcohol, flirting, eye gazing, wonder, amusement Oxford Comma a soul searching good time.
It was 20:00 when Bethany, Lexi and Ben all decided to leave which prompted the entire table to get up and leave. We marched right behind one another out the door. I was filled with unexpected disappointment because I was not ready to go but I followed the crowd.
I am pleased to say that Kathy actually let Luke and I be alone as she excused herself and left.
Earlier today while I was at work, I was researching and reading articles as to why it’s a BAD idea to be friends with benefits. I opened up to Luke and told him that every time I thought about us as being FWB my stomach would turn in knots. I told him how I was at such a sensitive point in my life especially since Tom and I left each other just 3.5 WEEKS AGO! Uhm..hello…….not.
And Luke just had to say the most beautiful thing to me, “Sydni, our friendship comes first, no matter what.” As he witnessed me wiping my tears for the very first time.
I told him that I had a lot of fun but the curiosity was what really pulled us in and what was about to kill us….our authentic and beautiful relationship that we had built since February.
Luke and I can consider ourselves very lucky to have been able to pull ourselves out of a mess that would’ve left one or both of us hurt, deeply hurt. I do not want to be in any more pain than I am already in. I don’t want to sacrifice my wonderful friendship with Luke. We have so much fun together just doing the simplest things.
Tipsy is easy because there are NO FILTERS. We hugged it out several times. He asked me again when would I be back from Florida and I replied as we headed our separate ways back to our cars, “I don’t know when maybe I will just show up”. I could hear his voice in the distance behind me, “All right, Sydni, see you later”.
“Do not expect things in life, ask for them. Do not assume and do not take things personally. And always try your best”-My evening motto
Also, NEVER sell yourself and your worth short. You mean the world to me. Love yourslef.