Freshly Single

I’ve never liked 13:00. I am so glad it’s coming to an end. I don’t like the way the sun hits my city at that time. It’s the same feeling I get whenever I’m sitting in a room and the sun suddenly goes behind a cloud, making the room subtly darker.

Tom and I broke up on 5/26/17 after a 2.5 week long break. I sent him a message about how I found someone I could relate to being 25 and fresh out of a long-term relationship. As you can plainly see here, he didn’t like my word choice. 

About 5 months into our relationship I just knew I was going to marry Tom. I even started wedding planning, which is so unlike me!! I went wild! 

On my side of the relationship about 6 months in, it began to go downhill from there. I am not going to go into detail but long story short, I hadn’t given my heart, soul, body Oxford comma mind a break between my previous boyfriend and with Tom. 

I literally jumped out from one and onto the other in 3 snaps! 

I knew this was going to bite me in the fucking ass. I kept that on the back burner. I just knew I needed a break from relationships. 

I want to marry and settle down but I can’t get myself to actually want to. There’s something in me that’s too rowdy and wild to settle down. And I love it. 

But at the same time I’m afraid that I won’t ever be married. I also hate it that people place emphasis on not letting “the right one” go, why can’t people just be happy for that individual to have been able to confidently make up their mind about what they don’t want? 

I’m leaving to go to the beach tomorrow at 6:00. I haven’t packed and it’s 19:35. 

I should be jumping out of my skin because I get to go away at last and get a break from here but I am not. Sigh. 

Tom would be going with my family and me. I dreaded uninviting him when we were on our break. 

I’m still trying to figure out why I think I need to be single. Why I have cleared everything in my path and what is the Universe preparing me for?

The struggle ends when gratitude begins-Wise somebody 

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